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April 26, 2012
Ok, so yesterday Adri and I got back from our spontaneous trip to New York city. One of the funnier highlights was an awkward exchange I had with a woman who was about a thousand years old.
Now, I believe there are exactly two things you should never, ever say to a woman unless you have some kind of quantifiable evidence backing up your bold proclamation. One, never tell a woman that she looks tired. Two, never ask a woman if she’s pregnant.
So Adri and I are on the subway, heading from Lexington Ave back up to Brooklyn, and I grab a seat beside this relic of a lady. I asked my tall, lovely man (not related to this story, but just thought I should add that Mr. Stark is a total hottie) “Hey Adje, we get off next at Kingston, right?” And he was like “Not sure if it’s next…ma’am what stop is next?” To which the ma’am in question responded “Kingston”. So I, of course, give Adri my smug “tolda!” face, and turned to smile in thanks to the woman.
She then asked me “Are you expecting?” …
But I THOUGHT she said “Is THAT what you were expecting?” and I respond: “Yeah, that’s what I thought… I told him so!” Which in this context was an affirmative, albeit a bit of a strange one.
So she started congratulating me and asking us if it’s our first. Of course I then understood what was going on and was like “Uh, yeah. Our first. Thanks!” Because really, what can I say? I just told her I THOUGHT I was expecting, and you know…can’t really tell her that actually I’m just feeling kinda gassy, and really my response was my immature reaction about knowing the subway stop when my handsome companion was unsure?
So, the woman says to me then “I could tell right away. You know how? Your skin is just glowing.” Which of course gets me grinning like a hippopotamus sunning her tongue (or whatever the hell they’re doing when their mouth is hanging open like that).
When we get off the metro, Adri turns to me and says “Well, your products ARE good, Jess!”
July 27, 2018
May 23, 2018
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