That’s right. I said it. Here’s how I screwed up 2014, what I learned (the hard way), and how I’m going to own 2015 (and how you can too!).
In 2014, I had one simple New Year’s “un-resolution”: to have no goals but to do the things that make me happy. This was my un-resolution method: no “gym x times per week” or “make x dollars” nonsense. I was getting right to the heart of it: just be happier. Easy peasy!
I was in pursuit of happiness, and little did I know, I was wasting my time. I failed, majorly. And, in some perverse, masochistic way, actually ended up being anxious and depressed for most of the year. I didn’t realize what a huge disservice to myself I was doing when I just said I wanted to be happier. It was major sabotage and my wishy washy resolution was screwing me over. By the summer, I knew I had some major work to do and began to undo and fix my well-meaning, but ultimately stupid happiness goal.
I have to admit I’m feeling guilty about something.
I had promised a story last weekend (via newsletter…you are signed up, right?) and I didn’t deliver. Here’s why: I was super burnt out. From the sale, from some recent changes made to Stark (yet to be announced!!), and because I was busy getting rid of 9/10ths of my possessions.
Yup. You read that right.
But here’s the thing: I didn’t just clean out my garage or attic (don’t have either one of those); I got rid of 9/10ths of my personal belongings. Stuff like clothes that were perfectly good, but I never, ever wore. Stuff like random accessories and things I’d be hanging onto for years and didn’t really know why. I even got rid of “memorabilia” that just no longer sparked any joy in me. Oh, and over 70 books that we will never re-read (and yet we still have what feels like a full library…in fact
This is about how I pretty much lost my shit.
In just a few days, my little company turns two years old. So strange. I can’t remember what life was like BS (before Stark). Or before I had a baby. Or before I met my husband, for that matter. Even though all those things? Individually, doesn’t even add up to 8 years total! I really can’t get over the idea of time. You think you kind of get how long an hour, a day, a week, a year feels, and then things like hitting 30, being a mom and/or launching a business happens. Then you realize that you had no idea what time was before. Or if you did “get it” at some point? It’s different now. Just as I’m sure it will be and feel different in a few years time.
I think I may need some kind of intervention. I had created a nice little washing routine in Kuwait with my beloved honey and rosewater, and then when it was time to leave for Italy, what did I do? Intentionally NOT pack these items. I like to travel light, which is difficult with a baby, so of course, being a mother, this often means sacrificing my own creature comforts to make sure the baby Z has all the socks and array of cute hats his little heart could ever desire.
Just over 2 weeks ago, Adri the baby Z and I packed a few bags and left the keys to our cozy Montreal apartment (and cats!) to a friend, not to return until March. This is the first year that we’ve decided to take advantage of our flexible lifestyle and say arrivederci to the insanity that is Canadian winter and ma’salam alaykum to warmish weather (and that’s a hint as to the 2 very different places where we’ll be!)
This, of course, is a fantastic idea, so that’s not what I’m alluding to by the post’s title.