April 01, 2013
We’ve been keeping this little puppy under wraps until now, but here is our big surprise….a new mask has come to the Stark Skincare lineup!
I am so so so proud of our newest product! Not only is the Stark-simplest of all the Stark products, but it is also the most edible…making it a great choice in product when travelling to remote regions, high in danger and excitement.
CHECK OUT PB HERE and find out why we think it’s so awesome!
Ok, ok, so this was CLEARLY an April Fool’s day prank! But since I kind of love it, here’s the copy that went along with our exquisite PB mask:
The butter melts slowly into the toast. Tiny droplets of oil liquify as it warms and sinks deep into the pores of the now-crispy bread. Slowly, a transformation begins. What was once a sad slab of dry, lifeless carbohydrates now becomes a moist, succulent treat, bursting with nutritious, peanutty splendor. Biting into the toast, her mouth experiences the brief moment of stickiness, followed by the instant relief as saliva rushes to her tongue, coming to the rescue and allowing her breakfast to slip down her esophagus without delay. In a moment of sheer breakfast rapture, she buries her face into the toast, experiencing first the pain of the hot bread, followed by the instant relief of a rush of amino acids found in the delightful legume that is the peanut.
Wildcrafted, organic, fair-trade, hyper-ethical and exceptionally rare (but nowhere near the endangered list), and only grown on protected UNESCO sites, ARACHIS HYPOGEA, commonly known as Peanuts Butter, found only in the remotest region of a part of the Amazon you’ve never heard of, is transported by Toucan then hand-ground by a family of wild monkeys who have been secretly (until now!) employed by indie beauty brands worldwide for the millennia.
The monkeys lovingly blend the peanuts for 7 days and 7 nights until the exact consistency of perfection is achieved. The texture is a delicate blend of both creamy and crunchy, with just enough exfoliating material to gently cleanse the upper layer of the epidermis, the stratum corneum, without damaging it very much. The high oil content of the butter gently sinks into skin, providing instant hydration with a pleasingly greasy feel. Can be left on skin for several weeks to create a protective layer that is a popular high-protein snack for small birds and squirrels.*
*Should be avoided if you are allergic to peanuts.
Simply spread an even coat over the entire face, neck and décolleté. Leave on or rinse of several dozen times. Do not attempt to use with a Konjac Sponge.
Pure Arachis Hypogea Butter (Peanut)
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August 19, 2019
Let me just be stark about this. You know what you don't want in common with a Sea Captain? Weathered skin. And scurvy, probably. Eat those lemons.
March 20, 2019
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