June 28, 2014
By the way? This post is actually a newsletter.
THIS IS THE FUN YOU MIGHT BE MISSING OUT ON IF YOU DON’T SIGN UP!
Neighbours! Buddies! Hot enough for ya? Happy Canada day, and go easy on the Beaver Tails and Raspberry IPA, eh?
Hey, even if you’re not in the Great White North (which is positively tropical at the moment, here in Montreal) you can still enjoy Canada, Canadian things, or just pretend to be Canadian!
No really, it’s easy. You don’t even have to wear plaid or know how to maneuver a canoe or portage the thing over a beaver damn, which actually really makes them mad, and man those things have HUGE teeth! By the way, did you know beavers let muskrats live in their sweet, cozy dams all winter long and just expect them to haul in a few twigs as rent? Considering they are the architects of the rodent world, that would be like Frank Gehry (who was born in Canada) letting you stay on his couch for making him a sandwich. Beavers are really considerate.
But I digress.
Here’s how to bring out the inner Canuck in a few simple steps (if you’re already Canadian, do carry on.)
20% (!!) off any purchase over $100, from NOW until 11:59 PM EST on July 1st!
What you need to do is make some vegan whipped cream a la Canadienne. Take a can of full fat, pure coconut milk (this is important), turn it upside down and place it in your fridge overnight. Then, open the can (right side up), carefully scoop the ice-cream like wonderfully fatty layer on top into a bowl, and whip it! Fold in maple syrup to taste (I suggest an obscene and generous “glug”, as Jamie Oliver would say.) This is the most wonderful thing to come from a can in the history of things coming from cans. You may then proceed to place said whipped coconut cream on everything in sight, because, yeah, it’s good.
And yes, all it takes is some maple syrup flavoured whipped coconut milk, facts about beavers, the mention of a famous Canadian and knowing to comment on weather to be an honourary Canadian for a day or two.
If you get yourself some Stark, of course. And add lots of “u”s to words while writing (spellcheck loves it). (Psst, if you add some of our Cypress Purity + Defense oil to your hair, you’ll smell like a Canadian forest! Just make sure you can outrun squirrels if you’re also carrying around a bowl of the maple syrup coconut stuff.)
November 08, 2019
August 19, 2019
Let me just be stark about this. You know what you don't want in common with a Sea Captain? Weathered skin. And scurvy, probably. Eat those lemons.